sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
