He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
