Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
