the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
