so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
