"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
