North Korea, Best Korea!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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