He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
