Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
