No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
