It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
this is an emotional support booty call
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
