I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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