just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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