I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
