all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
