Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
