Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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