There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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