i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
