Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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