Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
