I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
