Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
