Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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