How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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