D3 body, D1 cock
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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