You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
