I heard we made out
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
