Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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