Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
