I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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