Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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