If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
