i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
