yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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