after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
this hospital has no fireball
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
