I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
