he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
