fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
