you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
