:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
