Soap is not a condiment
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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