I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish i was in the wii world.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
