I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
