I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
