I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
