i think i have herpe
just one?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
