Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
