It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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