You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
