i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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