I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
